Too much coffee may result in random rants of, oh look! A kitten!

I'm still here. Haven't forgotten my favorite blog follower people. Is there a name for that? Something like blogollwers, maybe?

Anyway.. Life is still good. I've got some thoughts that I would like to ponder among my cyberspace shrink, but I'll have to sit and take some time to type it all out. Maybe in a day or so. 

But! For the time being (and while I'm helping to build my front porch today), how about something to ponder...

The concept of truth. The direct relation it has to life and the importance of always being aware of the repercussions if it is neglected or (for lack of a better term), ignored. 

Why do some people see it as a secondary choice? Narcissism? Arrogance? Lack of care? 

We see it so often in the media with all of these court followings, athletes with addictions to performance enhancing drugs, and ... Well... Everything. 

Causes? Effects? Pink rhinos stampeding a group of unicorns? Just making sure I haven't lost you. 

So. Truth. It'll set you free. Be true to yourself. Be true to those you love. Be true to your faith. 

Truth? You can't handle the truth!!! 

Don't know where that fits in, but I had to include it somewhere. 

Life's a garden, dig it. Keep on keeping on. 

Joe Dirt, out! 

A Movie Review for a Friend

So, about a month ago, honey and I got into a debate with another couple about the Die Hard movies. Well, honey and my friend's honey debated. But, anyway... I said that I would watch them and then give my opinion.

The debate was over the idea of which Die Hard sequel is more like (and closest to being as good as) the first movie. So, without any further ado... enjoy my personal opinion:

A little background; Die Hard (the original) is centered around Bruce Willis' character (John McClane) being in the wrong place at the wrong time, fighting bad guys (awesomely), getting all beat up but prevailing, having his wife taken as hostage and getting her back, then killing the bad guy at the end. During this sequence of events, there are several amazing fight scenes, some cheesy one-liner jokes, an entertaining side-kick and a whole lot of "yippee Ki yay." Great movie!

The second movie is based in an airport, once again McClane is in the wrong place at the wrong time, his wife is on an airplane (which somewhat puts her at the mercy of the bad guy), some action scenes, some pitiful humor (insert naked boobie calendar here) and all-in-all "yippee Ki yay." Yes, it stuck with the same idea as the first movie, but the movie itself wasn't as strong as the first one, and frankly it was a little boring. Plus...those grenades took FOREVER to go off. I just found that a bit unbelievable. Kinda rurnt the whole thing for me at that point.

The third movie is really one of the better humor ridden movies, simply because of the fact that Sam Jackson is the sidekick. This movie strayed from the first two a bit as far as plot. McClane isn't in the wrong place at the wrong time, but the movie does stick with the first one in the fact that the bad guy is after revenge for the death of his brother in the first movie. No one close to McClane is held hostage and not as much "yippee Ki yay" as the other two..but as far as being a good movie, it is really good. This one could stand alone (away from the Die Hard series) if it had to. As far as following the same idea as the first one, this one didn't. But, they did a good job of tying it to the original with the brother of the original villain being brought back into the picture because of his... brother.

Now, the fourth movie?.. I think, is the one that comes back to all of the original ideas and meshes with the first movie better than the rest. It was almost as if the writers got together and said, "oh! let's make this one like the first one, just updated and with better fight choreography and humor." The fourth movie, you find McClane, once again, in the wrong place at the wrong time with a sidekick, action scenes, and by the end, his daughter is taken hostage ..."yippee Ki yay." And, if that doesn't do enough for you? ... let me just show you why this movie makes John McClane one of the baddest cowboys ever!....

Now.. for my final answer: Personally, the movie that stayed with the original plot, and that offered the best action plus humor.. it would have to be *drum roll*


Die Hard 4.

In the beginning, from what I had remembered from the movies, I would have said 3 was my favorite...but after watching them again (in sequence), I have to say that the fourth one is the closest to the original idea, in my opinion.

I just want to say that Bruce Willis is amazing as John McClane. He is awesome. That is all.





oh....

June 4th on Blu Ray/DVD. I'm there, baby. I'm there. Yippee Ki Yay!!!!

Batter up!

Let's see.. what do we have left to talk about? Hmmm...

So, I've told you about my wonderful husband, I've told you about my wonderful new dog..It's time to tell you about my amazing child and her talents as a ball player. Yes. Meet the next big thing in tball:

The Beast

Yes. There she is, folks. That's a number 7, by the way. Yes. She is the biggest, baddest thing that has happened to tball since ... .............. ok, so I'm lost for something witty to put there. Now, if we can just get her grown enough to fit into her jersey, we'll be doing great!

She is a hitter, she is a runner, she is a fielder (?is that the right word?) and she is a dug-out master. All season, she's been playing third base; however, from now until the end of the season (and through the end of tournaments) she will be playing 1st base.

Also, see that guy there putting the ball on the tee? That's the biggest, baddest tball coach that has happened to tball since... ok. .. This is obviously not working out well for me.
That coach happens to be her step-dad. And he has been the best coach/dad, ever.

Just look at that little ball player. Isn't that the cutest thing?

Yeah, in the beginning of the season, I had volunteered to help in the concession stands and what-not. But, somehow, I ended up with a coach's certificate (and a whole lot of medication).

I am so proud of her. Proud of the whole team. We won our first game! ... that's it. We won our first game. But, these kids have had a great time, and the coaches have enjoyed it, too. I've learned a lot about ball, parents and keeping my mouth shut. I may or may not have applied any of those lessons...but I've certainly learned a lot.

So, that's my bragging blog about my baby and her talents as a ball player. I'll let you know how the ending tournaments go.. and I'll make sure to post some awesome photos for you guys to enjoy.

Whew, boy!

What a day, what a day! Let me just use this space to catch you up on another life changing event, as well as fill you in on my day. Two birds, one big pile of bird poop.


So.. If you have been a follower, you know there's this cat. This annoying, arrogant, narcissistic, football-loving cat. And, we just so happen to be living in his home. He allows it only because he believes it's good karma.

Mr. Purrfect doing his yoga.

Ah, yes. He is such a respectable fellow. Very sophisticated and smart. And, if you ask him? He's better than anyone else around here. So! What do we do?

We treat him as the king he is. We spoil him rotten, because that's what we are supposed to do. We love him and respect him for about... oh... a year and a half.. then?..... We get a dog.

Marcel's Big Problem

Marcel has almost dis-owned us as living, breathing, creatures. We are now somewhere between the level of pond scum and belly button lint. So be it. WHO could resist this adorable, Mother Teresa of dogs?? Just look at it!

LOOK AT IT!

Just LOOK at this!

I mean, what in the world are we supposed to do with all of that cuteness!? Meet Minka. She is a boxer (the best boxer ever) and she is about a year old. This girl is amazing. You just wouldn't believe it. I mean... look...

So, anyway... we told Marcel we were getting a dog and he was not too thrilled. 

Yes. This is the glare of death.

Time goes on and Minka and Marcel learn to tolerate one another  Minka loves Marcel. Marcel; however, loves life without Minka. But, I guess there's a heart beating in that little furry body after all, because Marcel has finally learned that Minka is staying. Marcel is none too happy about this, but he deals with it. 

Occasionally. 

Why do these humans hate me so?

Soon, they become best buds. Well, sorta. They drink from the same water bowl, they actually share space on the rug (on opposite corners), they even have learned to annoy me in the same exact way...

Who needs privacy??

Anyway, today was a pretty messed up day. Poor Minka. She went through her first heat about two months ago and had what the Vet called a false pregnancy. Never heard it before, but if it can be had..my dog will have it. So, she has had some problems here and there due to this little beauty, and this morning I was cleaning dog puke off of my floor at 6 a.m. Exxxxactly what I wanted to do first thing this morning. Then we went to the vet...then she came home and found a very nice puddle of something that resembles TAR and decided to roll around in it. So.. here's to you Mink! Hope you get to feeling better. We love you, and we hope you bounce back better than ever! 

..Marcel hopes you choke on a bone.

*for those who would like to follow Minka and Marcel on Facebook, click here. 

Catching up- Part 1 of 10,000

So, since I made my illustrious reappearance yesterday, I figured I would take the next few thousand blogs to specifically try to catch you guys up on the past year of myself. Sound good? Yeah, I thought so.

So, let's begin with the amazing day in which my honey became Mr. Auntie (I guess we should make it politically correct and call him Uncle). Because I have such an amazing family, they spent so much time and effort in making this day one straight from a fairy tale. It was perfect. Really.

We decided to wed in the front yard of my Mom and Dad's place. They live out in the country and it could not have been a more beautiful venue for us. We knew we wanted as few guests as possible (because we liked the intimacy of the whole thing).

The details may or may not be lost with the rigamarole of a common nuptial ceremony, only we wanted to make it ours. It was our day, and we wanted to do something that screamed "Auntie and Uncle!" We found it.

Please take a moment to enjoy the few pictures that we took, in order to commemorate "Our" day.

The lovely couple, entranced in one another.

Oh wait.. what is that?

A zombie!!? What!?

We got this.

Happily ever after.... not for the zombie.

Yes, I know... it's awesome. Amazing. Really cool, and whatnot. But, what did you expect from me?

Anyway, Sept 29th was the day, and the whole shebang was priceless. I finally found the love of my life, and he makes my days even better than I could have imagined. We fit like a square peg in a round hole. Er..... wait, that wasn't the analogy I was aiming for. Peas and carrots.

Peas. And. Carrots.


Yummy.

Oh my goodness!! Look who it is!!!

Watch that first step! It's a doozy!

About a year ago, I was just walking through my kitchen (minding my own business), then all of a sudden I wasn't. I don't know where I went, or what I've done in that particular place; but I'm back. And may I say, better than ever?

Let's see if I can recap a year for you guys in one hundred words or less...

Cap.

Recap.

Nope. I can't. Sorry. But, I'll do my best. Here it goes...


Got a ring (one of those rings), lost a job (boo!), got a husband (which is surprising since I lost the job; not complaining),lost my computer (thanks to a five year old accidental dropping), got some Christmas presents (not a computer, but some jam up stuff), got a year older (you missed it, but you can make it up to me), got a dog, Marcel got his world rocked (because of the dog), sold the house (yay!), bought a new home, got a new car, got a roommate, got a headache a few times, my child started tball (and she's a beast), lost my mind and decided I would help coach her tball team (I'm still trying to believe I volunteered to help coach), got some xanax (which is probably why I'm able to help coach) and now... we are getting ready to try to build a house and I've become Susie Homemaker against my own will.

Ta-Da. My year in a nutshell. Someone count it and see if that's less than one hundred words. I've missed this place soooo much. I didn't realize how much I've missed blogging about useless stuff until just yesterday. So, I'm going to try to be better about adding to my little space on the world wide webz. Hope you have all found love, peace and happiness since we last met. Or... something that makes you smile.

Gonna start blogging to try to bring everyone up to speed with me and my random life. So, cheers!

Looking forward to being on your screen again. Tell your friends, tell your neighbors, tell your cats and dogs! Auntie is BACK!

woot.

Here Kitty, Kitty

I need to share something with you guys. I have laughed this morning..and I want to share it with you.

Back story first: I have a cat. Hang on. We have a ca.. …… My honey has a cat.

The cat is ok. I’m not really a cat person… but my child and my honey obviously can put up with them much better than I can. So… there is Marcel.

Marcel grew on me rather quickly. He really has acted more like a dog than a cat since we brought him home. This made me like him a little easier, and not want to kill him all of the time. The little fart even fetches. Now, Honey has him in training to stand on his hind legs like a human… and walk. He’s getting there… slowly…

Now, his training will more than likely be put on hold for a while, seeing as I have him scheduled for a visit to the “no more babies for Marcel ever” doctor in the morning. Thus… the result of this story.

We begin at work. A lovely day. Things are going by just swimmingly. Until I start to have this sticky feeling on the bottom of my foot. Not my shoe… my Socked Foot. It’s beginning to stick to my heel, and it’s rather noticeable.

Hang on. I forgot one tiny bit of relevant information….

This cat has always been a rather decent, law abiding citizen…Until this past weekend. Something happened to him and he went absolutely insane. He’s been growling at people, and hissing and just being down-right cat-like. It’s annoying.

Sunday evening… he felt the need to mark his territory in my nice (freshly carpeted) walk-in closet. I don’t know if any of you have an idea of what male cat spray smells like… but just think of stale ammonia and magnify it by ten thousand… then… I can attempt to start explaining to you what male cat spray smells like.

Animals don’t do that in my house. CATS especially.

So… the spray has been neutralized, and the cat has been locked out of the bedroom for 4 days now. He is NOT a happy camper.

Back to present day. I want to share with you the conversation I had with my honey just a while ago.

Enjoy.

Me: Your cat put something in my shoe. I just now realized it because whatever it was, I have now squished and it is making my sock stick to my foot in that one spot. And it is quite annoying. After further inspection it seems to be the remains of a small critter or maybe an area in which he used as toilet paper. I am very angry at your cat right now…You are both very lucky that there is such a distance between him and I.

Honey: Teach him a lesson: have his balls cut off.

Me: I would like to cut them off myself!
With scissors.
While he watches.

Honey: Remind me to never poop in your shoe.

Me: I am afraid because of why I should have to remind you of that.

Honey: I regard the rules of society as merely guidelines.

Me: We will get along just fine.

 *******************

 Say… “I’m so sorry, Marcel”

Everything is personal, if you're a person.

I hate to return after being absent for so long with a preachy blog. But, I have been thinking about this lately and if I don’t write about it, I’ll continue to think about it.

Years ago, I heard the most profound phrase, and it has stuck with me all of these years.

“Everything is personal, if you’re a person.” 

For those movie lovers out there, you can probably cite which movie and what actress that originated from. Regardless of its origin, it’s something to think about, and something to remember.

I used to be part of a certain internet forum. I decided to take my exit a month or so ago. I still creep in and out when I think about it…just to check in on the few people there that I do actually care about. Something has happened recently with the majority of the frequent posters. There has been an obvious separation there; with some migrating to form another forum, and some bouncing in between the two.

Regardless of the reasons or the deciding factors, there has been an increase in child-like attitudes recently and I find it incredibly distasteful. When we get our feathers ruffled, it’s so eye opening to go back and actually think about what we said and how we acted during that time. Sometimes, it’s downright embarrassing. Hind sight really is 20/20.

If I had the chance to say one thing to them all, it would be this: I constantly hear it preached that, “the internet is serious business!” It’s a constant, running joke among the technical community. I’m sure if you’ve been involved with the internet for any length of time, you’ve read it before. It’s a phrase that has caught on just like any other fad and it’s slathered in sarcasm when it should be respected, and seen as an individual label.

I know exactly what most people think about when they say it. And, it’s true. The majority of the public take things too seriously. People are too uptight about some things. Absolutely.

But, whether you believe it or not; it doesn’t matter what you’re dealing with, everything has an impact on you one way or the other. You can’t tell me it doesn’t. People have lost their lives, their families, their jobs, their friends… all from the internet. Do you deny it? So, why is it that when someone seems to be getting their feathers ruffled, we feel the need to brush it off and treat them as if they are just being silly about a simple joke or opinion? Does their life mean so little to you? When we log in to the internet, it doesn’t matter where we go, or what we do. …we are actively taking time away from our everyday life. Your family is put on hold, your chores are put on hold, your entire existence is transformed into a life that exists in a series of numbers and algorithms. To some, this life is more precious than their actual living, breathing existence. How absurd.

Some people really do need to grow up. Some people need to read the definition of respect and sit on it for a little while. When someone has invested years of their life into a character, it is not your place to blast their true identity to the world. That is a personal choice, and you have crossed a line of respect and simple human dignity.

I know that half of the people reading this blog will be confused as heck, and I’m sorry for that. I just really needed to get this out so I could move onto something else in my head to think about.

People never cease to amaze me. I am constantly surprised at how some people can act sometimes. But, I do know this… never pick a fight with an idiot. They’ll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience every time.

 Respect is something that has long been lost, and is on the edge of extinction. If you can’t respect those around you, how do you expect your children to? If you can’t respect someone, because of some random reason…remove yourself from interacting with them. If you can’t remove yourself, then you’re going to have to deal with it the best way you know how. Just remember that you’re an adult. People will remember the negative things before they remember the positive…and remember that everything is personal, if you’re a person.

*Cough, cough

Ok, so I haven’t forgotten about you guys. I actually think about my blog regularly, I just don’t take the time to sit and write as much as I used to. Plus, I really have a boring life, so there hasn’t been a whole lot to write about.

 So, to catch up… I’ve lost 13 pounds, and I’m still planking. My last plank was 1 min 45 seconds. I was doing so well for a while, then I got this upper respiratory viral infection and it has really set me back. I’ve been so worn out and weak, my planks have suffered. Last night, I tried and failed miserably. But, will get back on it tonight.

As I’m writing this, I am trying to actively keep myself from passing out into a stone cold slumber. I don’t know if it’s the meds I’m on, or if it’s being sick…or not sleeping really well..or maybe it’s just a mixture of it all, but I’m pooped!

The princess is in Disney World this week with her Grandparents. I try to talk to her every day, but she seems to be too busy to speak to mom. Which, I understand. I think they had breakfast with Mickey and Minnie and the crew yesterday morning. She should be on her way home this Friday. So, I don’t know exactly when she will be home, but I’m expecting her late Friday night, or early Saturday morning. Either way, I hope it comes soon. I miss that thing!

She got all of her hair cut off. That thing looks so sassy now. She donated six inches to a woman that makes wigs for a non-profit organization. So, she was very happy ..and so was mommy.

 The weight loss journey is difficult. I have found that exercising is my area of weakness. I find it so hard to get motivated, and to stay that way. But, it’s slowly working out. It’s so hard to realize how much your body changes as you age. It really is harder to lose weight the older you get. CURSE YOU, AGE!!

Anyway, I just wanted to stop in and say hello. Give a small update. Let you all know I’m still here. If I have any words of wisdom today, I guess it would be…..

Keep your butt down!

 ..that’s what is constantly going through my head while I’m planking. Thought I would share! Toodles!

Planking and Changing

Annnnd.. Just like that!... Ten pounds are gone. Well, ten pounds as of last Friday.

Ah, ah, ah, ah staying alive, staying alive.

What is it about the BeeGees that makes a Monday morning bearable? You should see this, I’m doing the disco dance in my chair. I’ve really got to get a camera put up in my office. I could probably win money.

Anyway, back on track; I want to say this and I want it to sink in..

 “If you do what you’ve always done, you’re gonna get what you’ve always gotten.”

 I was talking with my honey last night about change. We had a very enlightening conversation about the capability of genuine change. You know, for the majority of the population, change isn’t possible. Why is that? What makes it so difficult? Is it a comfort factor? Is it fear of the unknown? Is it simple laziness? Pride?

Then, this morning, on my way to work I thought about it again. Change is constant! Just think about it; change is going to happen regardless if we initiate it or not. And, right here is where I could detail into a two hour conversation about change…

But, because it’s Monday, and I have things to do… I’m going to just take the avenue of my latest journey.

Health.

I can’t express to you how pumped I am about this healthy lifestyle change. I have, this past week, become the Healthy Workplace Coordinator at work. What does this mean? It means that I now have even MORE accountability! …which is AWESOME! We are beginning some healthy challenges and also a Couch to 5K program today after work. I am PUMPED!

So, I want to share with you guys a personal challenge that I started yesterday. ..and if you want, do it with me. It’s not too late to start. April is going to be my Plank a Day Challenge. I started yesterday (April 1st) holding a plank for 30 seconds. This is great. I would like to challenge you to try it…even just once. You will find out just how much you need to get yourself into a regular exercise routine.

A Plank is the position your body takes when it is in the upwards push-up position. Toes on the floor, hands on the floor, arms stretched, body in a straight line. You can also do this on your forearms (it's a little easier some say). The plank a day challenge consists of starting the first day of the month with a decent time frame (I'm gonna say 30 seconds). On April 1st, I held this position for a total of 30 seconds. That's it. Then, I go about my daily activities and such. Today, I will hold it for 35 seconds. Every day during the month of April, I will add 5 seconds to the total time of my plank.

Wow, Auntie.. that sounds really easy and really insignificant. Why in the world would you do that? What purpose does it serve? What does this do, you might ask?? Well, here ya go: This position (when done on a regular basis) will strengthen your arms, wrists and shoulders as well as the Core muscles (which are your abs and lower abdominal muscles) Lower back, glutes and thighs. Basically, it's a strengthening exercise for your whole body! And, guess what!... This is one of the best activities a woman can do to help prevent and fight bone loss. It is proven that weight bearing activity will not only prevent osteoporosis, but it will help build bone back.

So. That’s it. That’s what’s new with me! Woot! I’m pumped!!!!!!!

I'm still kickin' chicken!

Yes, yes I know..

No, I haven’t fallen off of the planet. I’m still here. I’ve just been out of it the past couple of weeks. Let’s see if I can catch you up on the ins and outs of Auntie’s life.

Did I tell you guys that the princess broke her collar bone? I can’t remember if I covered that or not, but just in case I missed it…. The princess broke her collar bone.

Sunday, a couple of weeks ago, she was at her dads and decided she would watch Sponge Bob on the arm of the couch (brilliant!). Well, bless it… gravity works, and she found out the hard way. She lost her balance and fell on her right shoulder, which in turn cracked her collar bone.Big frowny face, right? Nope! Look at that precious smile, even in the midst of pain. 

Our luck, this was 6 days prior to her 5th birthday party. *Rescind the fun jump and bring in canvas and paint! So, we had a nice ER visit, and she has a very attractive blue sling on her arm (which she wears wrong 100% of the time). But, the pain finally subsided and she is healing beautifully.

Then, this past Friday, I had oral surgery. I had a jaw tooth extracted and a bone graft done to prepare my mouth for an implant. Just let me give you a tip here… IF you’ve ever had surgery…or IF you are going to have surgery in the future; do NOT look it up on YouTube. I am begging you. I have realized that the real reason they knock you out for surgery is NOT because they want you to be comfortable… it’s to keep you from freaking the HECK OUT! *shudder*

So… I have had a very interesting couple of weeks here. But, here’s the big news!

I am starting a weight loss journey. It’s official. I am making this announcement for accountability only. I am using you people. HA! No, for real… I am one of those people who needs encouragement. My personality appreciates thrives on really needs requires attention. Some people have this figured out about me, and some not so much. Some feed my need, others don’t really care. Doesn’t matter.

I am taking you with me through this journey, and I will keep you updated on my progress. I am going to start a series of photos to track my physical progress. I will not post the photos until I have ended my journey. So, this will be fun for me, and it should be interesting. I hope you can get some entertainment out of it. And, I think it will help keep me on track and in check. So. … Here we go! Weight loss journey is under way. I’ve made a goal to lose 72 pounds. By when? I don’t know yet. I actually started this journey last Monday, but I’m just now getting to you about it.

So far… I have lost a total of 9 pounds. So… only 63 more to go! Woot! That’s what I’m talking about! Doesn’t that feel good!?

Yeah.. I thought so.

Giveaway Winner!!!

It's official! We have a winner!

You know, maybe people just didn't like my prize... or maybe they didn't like the question.. but I was really thinking that I would get more comments than I did. I may do a small pout about it, then get over it really quick and post another Giveaway.

Who knows!?

Anywhoo... I have confided in my dear friends at Random.org for help in choosing a winner, and here it is:

Comment #6:

James Day Mar 16, 2012 11:38 AM

The government has a secret facility in Southern Mississippi. They have been hiding living aliens there for years. It is actually an interstellar space port. They use humans for food and after they digest us, they use their feces for fuel to fly between the stars. These aliens have powers far beyond anything we have ever seen before. They promised the American Government all the power and riches they could ever imagine as long as they could gather fuel for their ships. In the name of greet and power we (the people) have been traded to the aliens for use as they see fit. Don't tell them I told you this..... no one was supposed to know. This was such a good idea I had to make it into a blog.

So, congrats to you! You are the proud new owner of this interesting little bit of fun. Now, it's your job to help me figure out how to get it to you. Hey! I've done my part; time for you to work a little bit!

And, thank you all who participated. You don't know how fun this is for me! :) Bookmark me and get back here regularly! I got some good stuff to give away. 

Happy Friday! :) 

Just a tiny GIVEAWAY!

**THIS GIVEAWAY IS OVER**

WOW! Here it is! They little giveaway I've been telling you about. Wait no more! Ok.. well, maybe wait a little longer.

..................

.........................................................

HA!.
Ok, ok.. here it is. Nothing fancy, just something completely typical of Auntie. And, since we will do a few of these... the first freebie up for grabs is this:

Did you know there's a secret daily flight from the United States to Cuba? Or, that in 1966, the U.S. government smashed a bacteria-laden light bulb inside the New York subway system? Or that there are quite a few abandoned underground New York subway stations? Or, that there's an entire (now-abandoned) underground movie theater in France? Of course not, because they are secrets. And this book is full of them. That's why it's called [insert eerie music here] the Book of Secrets. OOOOoooooo.

The Book of Secrets reveals hundreds of clandestine, covert, surreptitious, furtive, hush-hush, and taboo pop-cultural and historical curiosities, from government cover-ups to marketing tricks to Colonel Sander's secret recipe. Practical secrets are also revealed, such as how to obtain a flight upgrade, speak in public, or win friends and influence people. The biggest secret, though, is how the author managed to cram all these secrets into such a tiny tome. Really, this book is small enough to eat, if you had to - and with all the secrets contained inside, you just might!


Great stocking stuffer, bathroom reading or door stop. It is also quite useful as a coaster or paper weight. Personally, I think this is an awesome gift! I would love to have one. So, if you win, please feel free to give it back. No pressure.

SO!.. "How can I win this amazing prize?" you may be asking yourself!...

Ask no further!

Just answer THIS question: What is the best kept secret of the US government? 

This isn't a right or wrong answer. This is an OPINIONATED answer. I just want your involvement. And, the crazier the better! Tell me about Area 51 or who really killed JFK! I wanna know what YOU wonder about. Give it your best shot. Then, on Friday, March 16th at 2pm CENTRAL time, I will put the number of comments into the random number generator at random.org and waaaaa laaaaaa!. We have a winner!

So, give me your best and cross your fingers!
Also, feel free to engage in replies to one another. The more comments, the better! 

Begin.

Right down there in the comment section.

Now.

Go.

Size Matters

It really does! For example.. I am going to do a small giveaway. Not a big one. A small one. But, hey! In the tough economic times we're living in, anything free is great, right? Plus, this will be a great way for me to say "Thanks" for being such loyal readers, and maybe even spark a few more while I'm at it.

So, this is how it's gonna go: In the next few days, I am going to post a giveaway (so make sure you check in with me). I'll explain what prize you're competing for, along with a picture of it..then, I will post a random question, and you will leave a comment on my blog with your answer. I'll set a specific cutoff time and date the contest will end, then I will use my lovely friends at random.org to help me choose a winner based on how many comments I receive.

I will post the winner, then we'll exchange contact information and all of that beautiful stuff. So, you can comment as 'Anonymous' if you would like, that's no problem. I will post the winning comment in a blog...you'll just have to give me a little heads up if it's you. Yeah, I know that's not exactly fair, but hey.. nothing in life really is.

That's also why I'm not giving away a new car or $1.3 Million dollars. See? Size matters!

Stay tuned! :)

Anyone got any cheese?

Oh boy.. here it goes.

So, I’ve been confusing a few people in my life lately. And, instead of trying to explain it, I’m just going to write until my fingers stop. I would like to take this moment to say that I’ve had an epiphany. I think it required a few proverbial slaps in the face. …but I got it! I got it.

It got me…. Then, I got it.
It got got…and I got got.

Got milk?

……. Yeah, so…..

Um. I have just recently been convicted of something that I want to share with you beautiful people (beautiful people).

For those of you who aren’t fortunate enough to be able to hang out with me, let me give you a little background on me; I was born with my foot in my mouth. That’s it. That’s all you have to know. But, since you asked, I will detail a bit more….

I have always had this strong urge to control everything. It’s one hell of a trait. And, because I deal with it, it’s difficult for me to GIVE IT UP. What is the last thing someone in control wants to do?.... let go. So… here’s my deal… I fix things. I make things right. If something is teetering, I ‘tot’ it. Make sense?

The only problem here is that I am a constant failure. I can muck something up to the point of no return! The world doesn’t work like I think it does. If it did, we would all be bouncing on clouds, sucking pomegranates and arresting spiders. Maybe fluffing a few pillows…

Guess what.

It’s not my place to control things. I heard a pastor this past Sunday say one of the most profound things that I think I’ve heard in a while…

He said (and I’m not gonna quote him, because I’m gonna mess it up) something like this: Are you really narcissistic enough to believe that the whole world rests on your shoulders? It’s not your job to handle everything. You don’t have to be perfect. That’s not your job.

Ok.. so that really hit me. And, since Sunday I’ve been dealing with some inner demons over it all. Do you know how difficult it is to change a primary trait? It’s dang near impossible. I can sit here and encourage and inspire all day long. That’s what I do. It’s what I love… but, when it all boils down to it, I really have no right to tell you what you should be striving for when I can’t get my own self under control. See? Dang it. There’s that word again.

I think all I need is a simple lobotomy. HEY! .. I didn’t type that! I meant to say that all I need is a simple change in vocabulary. Psssshhhh!!... That sounds nothing like lobotomy. I think someone put something in my jelly beans. I also think that there’s a constant need for people to feel accepted and loved. When it all boils down to it, I think that’s it. Trust, honesty, love, patience, kindness, selflessness, loyalty… All of those things that don’t exist at one time. Why? Because we are human. But you know what? They do exist.

Perfection is a trap. Control is a trap. Keep your little mouse paws clean, and don’t get trapped!

“squeeeeeeeaaaaakkkkk!!!!!” *snap!



Mission Complete.

Taking a walk

We all want progress, but if you're on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive.

C. S. Lewis

I have written many blogs about forward motion. I've always felt the greatest form of accomplishment is to, indeed, continue ahead. This quote by CS Lewis brings out a very interesting point. What if your "forward motion" is to back track? What if your "road ahead" is the road you've already traveled?

No one wants to be wrong. And, no one wants to admit it when they are. Believe me! *snort* But, in the days of our lives, we are going to have to face the fact that we aren't always right. We don't always do things the best way. We don't always make the best decisions. And, we pay for it. You may not find reparation immediately.. but at some point in life, it will come back and bite you.

I believe the hardest thing to do in those situations is to stop and actually take the time to correct your mistake. "Haaa!!! Auntie, it's hard enough to get me to admit that I'm wrong! If you think I'm actually going to admit my wrong and try to fix it at the same time, well, you've lost it! I need time for my pride to heal before I go and make another mistake by trying to fix the first one."

You don't have to fix it right then. But, don't you think it would be much easier to go ahead and do the about-face? That way, when you stop for a breather, you will know what you're dealing with ahead..and you can plan your course of action to correct it. Let's face it... most mistakes happen because they are spur of the moment decisions, right?

Let's put this into Auntie's terms...

Jill is happy with her new Coach (for you guys, that's a purse). Hang on... what am I doing? ...

Mark Ingram is happy with the Saints. He is playing with the big dogs. He gets time on the field. He is practicing regularly and keeping himself healthy (for the most part). Aw heck...

Ok.

Bob has a good job, a nice truck, a pretty decent home and a jam up wife (come on, everybody knows Bob...stay with me here). Bob has had a bit of a gambling problem in the past. It became a big issue when he lost the entire contents of their life savings a few years ago; on a bad bet against the Tide (we all have to learn). At that point, Bob was scared of not only losing his earthly possessions,  but he was embarrassed at work, as well as among his circle of friends, his poker buddies; and most of all...he was afraid of losing his marriage.
Bob's first thought was to take his entire paycheck and go win the money back on some side bets this weekend (this would be an example of continuing with forward motion after recognition of a mistake). Bob had realized he had made a mistake, and his first thought was to continue in that same course of action to correct it. Can you think of a few "gambling" mistakes you've made? ...
The saving grace was the moment that Bob talked with his wonderful wife. She explained to him that this type of behavior can no longer continue, and that he could make a decision to fix his mistakes or to continue to make more (Bob has done the about-face at this point, and he is going to sit and take a breather to gather his thoughts about what to do next).
After a few days of deliberation, Bob finally made his decision. He took the first step on his course of back track and got a part time job delivering pizzas to replace the money he squandered out of the family savings. That road back was a really long one... it was full of things that he didn't want to do..and it created a lot of character for Bob. But, once he got to the point of origin, he was able to make the choice to take the right path. The path of continuous forward motion.

The moral of the story? Never bet against the Tide.

hahahaa.... I couldn't resist. Ok... so, really.. the moral of the story? What would it be for you? Did you get my point at all? Bob needed to think about a few things. He needed to consider his position in his family (the head) and he also had to realize that he needed to put his feelings on the bottom of the list. His needs and wants were of no importance. He needed to take the path of being a responsible and caring man for his family.

Oh... Bob saved enough money to replace what he had lost, and just enough to take the family to the 2011 NCAA Championship game. They all wore Crimson and was able to rejoice when their new favorite team WON! And, Bob was happy.

So.. I guess what I'm trying to say is; don't try to fix your first mistake by making a rushed decision about the remedy. Sometimes the road we've already walked, is the key to our redemption. Just make sure to keep it between the lines.

Things aren't always what they seem

Man, I know it's been a while since I've written a blog. I've missed it! I have had so much going on in the past few weeks, I've been like a little crazy person. I know, I know...that's typically my norm, but lately things have been extra crazy. I've wanted to sit and write before now, but I just haven't taken the time to do it.

This morning, I was reading, and I came across a very interesting little piece that I want to share with you guys.

A Different Kind of Prayer

"Heavenly Father, Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and was rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry, and spend a few precious moments with her children. Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester. Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking fellow, begging for money in the same spot every day is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares. Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together."

Now, whether you believe in God or not, you've got to take some time to really read that and think about what it says.  It's a very inspirational little thought. It asks us to look at things a little differently. It asks us to realize that things may not always be as they seem... and even if we neglect to admit that; at least we can keep in our minds that there may be another story to the situation we are currently dealing with. What are we in such a hurry for, anyway? We're all headed the same place in the grand scheme of things. 

I've learned that people are selfish. Even more so that what we would like to realize, sometimes. It's human nature, I guess. Now, don't get me wrong... there are some precious people in the world (and abundant in my life, thankfully), who are so patient, and understanding. But, we all have those selfish moments. ...some just more than others. 

I've learned that change is a very difficult thing to accept. So, I'm not asking for people to change anymore. I'm simply going to rotate my approach. And... maybe rotate myself in the process. There are so many things that I would love to do differently in my every day life. The way I treat people, the way I respond to situations, the way I accept what life hands me... 

How do you begin to adjust yourself differently? I do believe that it comes from somewhere that not just you or I can see. But, we have to put it into motion. We have to make it happen. ...and we have to want it to be that way. When it all boils down to it... 

it's us. 

Knitting for Valentine's Day

Since Valentine's Day is rapidly approaching, I guess I should start writing a few things about love and the mushy stuff that people really like to hear about (even if they say they don't). Reading or hearing a good love story is like reading a good book, or being told great news. Even if you could care less about love and mush, I would bet that you at least have some sort of smile in your heart when you hear a sappy story about love. It's human nature. I'm not asking you to admit it; I'm just calling attention to it.

heeehee.. you're welcome.

So, anyway; I've been keeping daily tabs on a website that I've found and I was reading something today that I wanted to share with you guys. It's a really neat story and a very encouraging lesson. So, without wasting any more time, here ya go:

Our brother-in-law, Bob, had a mother who would knit him thick wool sweaters. Bob remembers one time when she was knitting and noticed a dropped stitch about 20 stitches earlier. She seemed really upset about that one dropped stitch and undid several minutes of work to go back and pick up that one stitch.

“I asked her why the fuss about one stitch, and told her to just forget it, no one would notice it anyway,” Bob recalls. “Mom said: ‘Because that one dropped stitch is where your sweater will start to unravel.’”

Bob and his wife, Mary Beth, have been married 33 years and they are the best of friends today. That’s because Bob learned a lot about watching his mother knit sweaters.

“We are to be knit so tightly together – as a couple – that we don’t unravel…not one dropped stitch.”

We can unintentionally drop a stitch by doing something careless – not remembering a birthday or anniversary, failing to be there for the other when we are needed, saying a careless word, or making an unkind gesture. The list goes on. There are a million different ways to drop a stitch in your relationship with your spouse and to cause the unraveling to begin.

But, there are also a million simple acts of love to pick up the dropped stitches in your relationship so you two can be tightly knitted together once again.

We surveyed several couples and asked them what simple acts of love they practice in their relationship:

When my husband comes home for lunch I try to have everything ready for him so he doesn’t have to bother.

He likes to have my hair a little longer. I prefer it short, but I’ll wear it longer for him.

Just sitting on the couch and being together instead of one of us being on the computer.

I’ll do the dishes for her or vacuum the house, so she won’t feel she needs to.

And what are some simple acts of love couples love to receive?

When he does something and makes it feel like an ‘us’ thing – that makes me feel loved.

When my spouse drops things to do stuff around the house for us, that speaks love to me.

When my wife makes me something special for dinner that she knows I like.

******************************

So, for the heck of it, why don't you think of something right now to do for your significant other. I mean right now! .. well, after you finish reading this blog :)

How about you shut the computer down. Put your phone away. Let the iPad rest for a little while. Those things will always be around. As a matter of fact, they will all remain here even when WE don't! So, go find your man... go find your woman... And just give them a hug. Kiss them on the cheek, the nose, the forehead... just where ever. My mom does this thing with my baby.. she tells her to give "Papaw" sugar all over his face until he laughs.

Try it.

I bet you will both smile before it's over with!

Random Thursday

I just wanted to give you a few goodies for Thursday! Some of these are so dang funny....and some are almost hard to believe. Either way, they are entertaining... or so I think. 

Did you know that Jimmy Carter was the first U.S. president to have been born in a hospital?

In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.
Time to break out your Seinfeld DVDs. 

Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.

The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.
Is that even a word? I got the little red squiggle lines under it telling me that Firefox doesn't recognize it. 

The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.
Friggin' engineers. 

The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.

Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
PLEASE do not try this at home. 

If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19.You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
Yeah, I'll wait while you process that. 

The only two days of the year in which there are no professional sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are the day before and the day after the Major League all-star Game.

The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan."

It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year's supply of footballs.
Eat Mor Chikin

Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
THIS is sad. 

There is an average of 178 sesame seeds on a McDonald's Big Mac bun.
You're welcome, McD's. There will be an increase in Big Mac sales within the next few days just so my blog followers can count the dang seeds.

The world's termites outweigh the world's humans 10 to 1.
It's a good thing we aren't made of wood, eh? 

The 3 most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

When Heinz ketchup leaves the bottle, it travels at a rate of 25 miles per year.
I am certain it's much slower than that. 

It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.

The Bible has been translated into Klingon.
Why?

Ten percent of the Russian government's income comes from the sale of vodka.

On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
Once again, Why? 

In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.

Reno, Nevada is west of Los Angeles, California.
It's true!

Internationally, Baywatch is the most popular TV show in history.



For those of you who didn't think these were entertaining at all... here's a picture of a cat with a mustache.

The change I didn't want to make

I've had some thoughts about a lot of things lately. Life is so full of things that constantly challenge us and that dare to change us. So, I guess what I want to blog about today is a series of change that may be the key to something some people have been missing.

Feel free to take this literally. It comes from my heart, so that is foremost how I mean for it to be received. But, if you take the time to dig a little deeper, you may find that there are a few hidden treasures that can/may apply to your life.....not just with children.

I will be the first to admit that I am spoiled. I am. I know it. I'm not bragging about it, I'm just stating the bitter truth. I enjoy things that are about me. I flourish when people ogle over me and pay attention to me. I like things my way. I enjoy doing what I want to do. I feel that it is my right as a woman and as a good person. God knows the world is gonna give me enough negative..so when I can, I always take advantage of the good.

When I got pregnant with Emily, I was very excited. And, I was very scared. I had no idea what I was going to do with a child. I didn't know how to raise one, and I have such high expectations of how things should be; that I was frightened because I was scared I would slight her by not raising her right. And, that would be a direct shadow of me.

When she got here... I realized that all of those fears were replaced by another emotion.

Jealousy.

As much as I loved her, I was slapped in the face when I realized that life would no longer be about me. I had this being in my arms that had changed my whole world in just a moment. I had no preparation for it, I had not even THOUGHT about how it would impact me in that way...and I had no idea I would react in that way.

For a while, I felt like the most horrible mother in the world because even though I loved her more than my own self, I still held a bit of resentment. ...you have no idea how it feels to love someone sooo much, and to feel like that at the same time. I fought with that for a very long time.

Then, one day I realized... I don't care anymore. God entrusted me with this beautiful, healthy, intelligent child.

THAT was my attention!.
THAT was supposed to be my pride.

So, I had to make a choice (as every parent does) as to how I was going to shape that.

Then, almost over night, it was never even another thought. It's like it vanished into nothing...almost like that emotion never existed for me. Now, I know that I am still spoiled, but it's nothing like I had in my mind before. Now, I am happy with everything in my life being about HER. That doesn't mean that I have to give up things. It doesn't mean that I have to do without... Some things work out that way anyway..and I never even see it change.

I relish in the fact that I have someone in my life that is so important. I love her unconditionally. Yes, I want to eat her sometimes. ... but only to get her closer to my heart. You see, she will respond to how I respond. She is a direct mirror image of how I chose to treat her. That's not something I taught her to do.. it's not something that she learned from a friend... it's natural. Because, she loves me just as much.

So, see... we equal each other out. ..and there's a deeper understanding than what we can see, feel, touch or even describe.

When life changes, and you are faced with a new way of life (be it subtle or drastic) you have that one slim moment to respond. Love will always win as long as it's sincere. ... but it goes beyond that.

My love for her isn't a conscious effort. My decisions to buy her things instead of myself doesn't even register. The way I love her is natural and easy. ....it didn't come without a harsh gut check, though.

But, once I realized that I want my life (and hers) to be about "us" instead of "me," I changed.

..and it was effortless.