If you do what you've always done, you're going to get what you've always gotten.
Why is it that we refuse to change, even if we know this way is hurting us? Even a rat knows to change course if this way is blocked. So, why is it so hard for humans to do the same?
We're spoiled. We're stubborn. We think we deserve more than what we have. You may be happy with what you have, but there's always a part of you that believes it should/could be better.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not preaching! The things I say half the time are just random thoughts rolling around in my head..and, they generally apply directly to me. So, I guess you could call this an inside, ring-side seat to my brain. HA! Lucky you!
Come down front after the show and I'll do autographs.
"Man, that Billy Bob sure does have a good lil' woman there. She is a jam up gal. She's purty and can cook like my mama. Yeah, he got him a good one. Wish my wife was more like her."
"Didn't your wife get a second job last year so she could surprise you with a new pick-up for Christmas?"
"Well, yeah.. but she can't cook like mama."
Perfect sense. Sounds right to me! awww.. ok.. I won't make it one-sided..
"Girl, you wouldn't believe what Kenneth bought me just because he felt like it!"
"Oh my Gawd! What!?"
"A new Coach purse! I looked it up on the internet today, and it sells for $850!"
"WOW! I've been married for six years and I'm lucky to get a birthday card. But times are hard for everyone."
"Yeah, I just wish he would have asked me about it first, it's really the wrong color."
Really!?
I mean, really?
Ok.. so I know that I just totally made those two stories up, but you know exactly what I'm talking about. And, truth be told, you probably know some people who have done those very things.
So, what does all of this have to do with that impressive quote at the beginning? Let's tie it together. Auntie style...
It has been proven, time after time that the grass is greener on the other side. We all know that our life isn't perfect, but if only blah, blah, blah then it would be so much better! blah. You know why the grass is greener on the other side? ..it's being fertilized on a regular basis.
fertilized.
pooped on.
Everything comes with consequences.. especially when you're talking about change. "But Auntie! I don't need to change anything! My life is great just as it is!" Well, I completely believe you. I do! And, I am tickled if that's honestly how it is for you.
Are you married?
Do you have a child?
Are there any other people in your life ... besides yourself? If you answered yes to any of those questions, I have a surprise for you. Your life may be great 99% of the time, but I guarantee at some point, you're gonna be kicking rocks and gritting your teeth over something... because people are guaranteed to do one thing at some point... Piss you off.
Doesn't mean they are right, doesn't mean you are right. They could honestly be trying to help with something, and just screw it up. But it's bound to happen. We love them in spite of it, and we try not to take it personally.. but sometimes we just can't help it. This incident temporarily changes our otherwise stable course.
Tell me something..
what's the hardest part?... Getting lost? or finding your way back?
Falling down? or getting back up?
The challenge is to do it with tact and grace. ..so much that you impress your own self! "Hey! I didn't know I could do that! Go me!"
Have you done it before? Probably. Did you do it the same, exact way? I would bet not.
Let's entertain me for a moment and apply this to relationships. Why? Because everything is better when you apply it to a relationship. I don't know why.. it just seems to be more dramatic. I think it's because everyone can relate to it in some way... anywhoo..
Jimmy has been divorced for a while. Him and the wife just didn't work out. But, Jimmy is getting lonely and has decided to look for a new woman. He finds one. She's not a beauty queen, but she's a good girl. She cooks like mama. She doesn't hound him to do this or that. She gives him his freedom without question and supports him always. She showers him with love notes and cute girlie things that guys just don't get excited over. Well, Jimmy is just Jimmy. He's always been Jimmy and he will always be Jimmy.
After a little while, New Woman seems to constantly give without anything in return.
"But Auntie! Guys just aren't as mushy as girls. They don't know how to express their feelings."
BULL!
If you do what you've always done, you're gonna get what you've always gotten. I'm not talking about a change in your core values or personality..I'm talking about baby steps. Why didn't Jimmy and the wife make it? Who knows! But, I would put money on the idea that maybe Jimmy just didn't express himself as much as he could have. So, what happens? Jimmy remains the same with New Woman, and eventually New Woman feels like Old Woman.... and taa-daaa!!
Deja Vous!
See? A little change can go a looooong way!
I was talking with my best friend last night about this subject. ..Change.
At one point, I surprised myself with an idea. - Forward Motion. Not talking football here. I'm talking about moving towards a specific goal or idea. Not standing still, not going backwards. Forward Motion is detrimental to progress in everything in our lives. It is the key. The absolute power.
As long as one foot is consistently being placed in front of the other, you have nothing to look over your shoulder at; but the past.
Just remember.... If you do what you've always done, you're going to get what you've always gotten.
Is that your happy place? If it is?.. I sincerely congratulate you.
If it's not?.. Change is the answer. It doesn't have to be monumental. Just entertain this: if a worm can become a beautiful butterfly, you can become whatever you dream to be. All it takes is forward motion.
I loved that. A great point perfectly stated.
ReplyDeleteFertilizer. Yes indeed.
When normal people talk about change, it is almost always for the better. When political candidates talk about change, it is almost always for their betterment (not yours). Relationships are constantly changing. If you can not adapt and bend with the times...... you will break. Mentally speaking, right? Well, you might piss him/her off so much they physically break you! Just be careful. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI love hearing people comment on my blogs. It tells me that everyone takes something different from it. I love this. :)
ReplyDelete