Sitting in my car, waiting nervously ... This was the first time I would meet him in person. I had recently met him on an internet forum and we became really close friends. The occasional message..the daily phone call and text conversation. Not a day went by that I didn't hear his voice. Hour long conversations about life and the way we react to it, dreams. ...and a few other things. Some personal things that will never be spoken of again.
He got out of his car, walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me. When he pulled back, he looked me in the eyes, smiled and kissed me so gently on the cheek. "You look absolutely stunning. Shall we?"
As we walked around the building, we rotated between his hand on my back and my arm linked in his. It was a simple connection... two people who had similar thoughts about life. ...I had no clue what I was in for.
He pulled my chair out for me and then sat next to me. Taking my hands in his, he never let his eyes leave mine. I felt flushed. Flattered. I felt like the only person in the world. ...and he said that I was.
Our conversation began.. life, love, family, friends, current events, politics, money, dreams and secrets.. the future.. I had no clue. I was sharing dinner with one of the most amazing men I would ever come to know. We ordered our meal.. enjoyed it greatly. At one point, he fed me a bite of his fish. It was sappy, yes... but it was something amazing. I have never been treated like that. He made a point to make me feel like I was a complete princess. He said that I was. ...I still don't believe him.. but it was his feelings.
After our meal, he walked me out onto the patio to overlook downtown. The night was cool, but the heaters on the patio made it pleasant. We looked at the night sky and talked some more of the future and what each of us expected. We had the same ideas of how life should be.. of how we wanted things to go. It was nice to share that with someone.
Then he stopped. He leaned in to kiss me, so gently... then with pain in his eyes; he leaned back to look at me. You see, he was sick. He had been for a while. Just recently he had another bout with it and he was tired. He explained to me, in detail about his sickness...and the future that he was certain to have. I understood. He knew that I did. But, he knew that I still wanted to be right where I was. There. With him. Enjoying life. Enjoying the company of a true gentleman. Enjoying the sprinkles of life.
He explained to me that sprinkles are very important. Those are the things in life that are just added for extra flavor. The things that we don't count on, but when they happen; they are amazing.
We left the restaurant and he took me to the park. We had a nice walk and sat and talked for a while. We covered so much history together in those few hours. ...memories.
As he opened my car door, for me to get ready to leave; he kissed me on the forehead and looked me in the eyes. He smiled that amazing smile and told me to be careful. I thanked him for the amazing night, and got in my car. I wasn't ten minutes away when he called me. I smiled when the phone rang. He wanted to make sure I was alright and just had to know the next time he could see me. So, we made plans.
I experienced many more phone calls.. several more texts and messages from him over the next month and a half. We went to see a movie... had dinner again. We spent some wonderful times together... talked about so much.
....life takes us in so many directions. Sometimes things come from out of nowhere. Things that we never expect. Through it all, he still remained one of my closest friends. He never let me forget..
I never will forget. His life was too short.. The world has lost an amazing man. ...I have been blessed to be a part of his life, even though it was too short. I know that I brought him happiness...just as he did me. He made a difference in my life. He saw what others refused to see...and he was grateful. I will always remember the things he told me... the way he made me feel... the attention to detail he had... the way he thought a woman should be seen and treated.
The world lost a gentleman yesterday. I lost a friend. He meant so much to so many... but this is my story. This is what he meant to me...
Beautiful. He sent me a message in response to what I said when rodney passed. It was a short note about meeting people you want to because they can be gone without any notice. Doing the things you want because you can be gone instantly. Living life to the fullest. At the time I did not know how sick he really was. Looking back I think he was giving me a hint, and I did not get it. I missed my chance.
ReplyDeleteAmanda, you enjoyed perhaps an Angel on earth..One day you can see him again and certainly the wait will be worth it all..
ReplyDeleteLove you and I truly enjoyed your blog..It just is simple special..
This brought tears to my eyes. I am so sad that I never took him up on his offers to go out for weird coffee.
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