Blog Challenge Day 30 is kicking my tail. I'm working on it, I promise. And, I'm still here.. just been preoccupied the past week or so.
Hope your Thanksgiving went great. Mine was absolutely wonderful! I guess it's time to get into the Christmas spirit. I'll have to see what I can't find around here to help you out with that.
OH!.. Found it!
Day 29: In this past month, what have you learned?
Wow. What a loaded question!
I am going to try to do this in a very simple manner.. so that this blog won’t be ten bajillion pages long. Learning is a constant for me. I like it that way. I refuse to let something get by me without dissecting it until it’s deader than dead. I’m like an Indian with a buffalo. …I use every last piece of it. I get all the goodie I can from whatever situation I’m dealing with… it’s the only way to grow, I believe.
…Or so, I try.
So, with that said, here are some random things that I have learned this past month:
-I’ve learned that life isn’t always what you want it to be. Sometimes people will surprise you, and sometimes they will disappoint you. The beauty is in the dance. It’s still great.
-I’ve learned that people are boring creatures that look for things to do. This is why I try to always have a book, or a topic to write about, or a puzzle… I try to keep my mind busy. And, you’re welcome! Could you imagine me as a nosy, busy body who had an itch to make other people miserable!? Could you imagine what I could do!? Seesh! Glad I’m not one of THOSE!
-I’ve learned that no matter how bad my day is, or how tired I am; I have this amazing thing at home. It’s called: my family. The love of my life, and my child. The 2 most important people in my life. They make me a better person, bar none!
-I’ve learned that life is too fragile and too short to be anything other than thankful.
-I’ve learned that I can’t eat two donuts in the morning and then try to have a good day. The sugar rush kills me about 2 hours later.
-I’ve learned that rage comics are really funny and very fun to make (even if they aren’t that funny to anyone else).
-I’ve learned that my new favorite sound is the laughter of my sweetheart. He has this giggle sometimes that just makes me want to laugh with him. Plus this dimple is just ahhhhhmazing!
-I’ve learned that my child is the one that deserves my attention, regardless of what I’m doing. The adults in my life can understand this… she can’t. She’s four, and even though she acts likes she is fourTEEN most days..she is still only a child, and the center of her Mommy’s world. I can’t imagine not wanting to be part of her life. The sad thing is?... there are people out there that do just that.
-I’ve learned that I can cry, and it’s ok. I’ve cried more this past month than I have all year. I used to be the one who never cried. This month, I’ve learned that when things are important enough to you, it will show through your tears.
-I’ve learned that the things that you expect out of life, you don’t always get. And… sometimes you get things you don’t expect.
-I’ve learned that haters are gonna hate….but my friends and family make up for it, 10 fold!
-I’ve learned that people don’t always understand what I say.. and that’s ok. I know what I’m saying..
-I’ve learned that hospital couches don’t make a comfy bed, but you don’t really care about that when the one you love is sick and they don’t know why.
-I’ve learned that understanding is one of the most important attributes to have in this life. I haven’t mastered it in the least!..but I am striving for it.
-I’ve learned that I can complete something. This blog challenge has been very fun for me. I hope you have enjoyed it as much as I have. I know that I can ramble and go off on a rampage every now and then…but that’s Auntie!
The ones of you who love me make up for those who don’t.
Every single person we meet plays a role in the drama of our life. It's an epic tale of so many different genres. I can remember key parts of my life, and the situations that I have been in. They all surround certain people that I will never forget; for one reason or the other. All of these experiences join together to form this amazing thing called: Life.
Good or bad. Happy or sad. Easy or hard. Detailed or just plain and simple.
Do you know what I was thinking the other day?... I'm sure you don't... but I'm going to tell you, regardless.
Out of all the things we do. All the decisions we make. All the people we encounter... What is the ultimate goal/reward/outcome/hope?
Happiness. Pure... happiness.
I just wanted to share this with you.. I wanted to you know that it's worth every fiber in your soul to reach for it. It's there. No matter what situation you are dealing with right now, happiness is in your future. But, you have to shape yourself. You have to react to things and take the road that may be clouded..
I have found my pure happiness. It's something that can never be mistaken. I'm not saying that I have entered into a euphoric state of being for the rest of my life. But- I have found that, which makes me happy when all else around me is bad. My heart is encased with it.
For the past four and a half years, I have understood what unconditional love is. My child has opened my eyes to something that I never knew existed; before her.
Six months ago, my eyes were opened again.
Out of all the attempts to find happiness and to attain that level of pure joy with another soul; I finally have been blessed. I am so, exceedingly lucky. Life hasn't stopped being difficult. I haven't won the lottery.. I haven't learned how to tip-toe around people so that I don't hurt their feelings.. That's not what it's about. I have found that one thing that makes the rest of my life experiences bearable. That one thing that brings me back to "me" when I lose my way. It's like a magnet. I can gravitate away from it, but I always end up back where I belong.
You can call it love. And yes... I call it that, too. But it's something far deeper than love. I have found rest in someone. A place my soul can relax and be free. No barriers. No false hope. No facades. Just pure, untouched happiness.
He makes me a better person; because the things that I need to work on (my personality flaws) are slowly melding into something that resembles acceptance and ease. He has shown me what it means to be pure and open.
I have never been more understood than I am now. I'm sure he would tell you that I'm a puzzle. But he just does not understand exactly how much I have needed him. Just him. Just his love and the way he sees me.
I needed to let someone know about it. I needed to help someone understand that there is a place out there that you belong. ...
Sitting in my car, waiting nervously ... This was the first time I would meet him in person. I had recently met him on an internet forum and we became really close friends. The occasional message..the daily phone call and text conversation. Not a day went by that I didn't hear his voice. Hour long conversations about life and the way we react to it, dreams. ...and a few other things. Some personal things that will never be spoken of again.
He got out of his car, walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me. When he pulled back, he looked me in the eyes, smiled and kissed me so gently on the cheek. "You look absolutely stunning. Shall we?"
As we walked around the building, we rotated between his hand on my back and my arm linked in his. It was a simple connection... two people who had similar thoughts about life. ...I had no clue what I was in for.
He pulled my chair out for me and then sat next to me. Taking my hands in his, he never let his eyes leave mine. I felt flushed. Flattered. I felt like the only person in the world. ...and he said that I was.
Our conversation began.. life, love, family, friends, current events, politics, money, dreams and secrets.. the future.. I had no clue. I was sharing dinner with one of the most amazing men I would ever come to know. We ordered our meal.. enjoyed it greatly. At one point, he fed me a bite of his fish. It was sappy, yes... but it was something amazing. I have never been treated like that. He made a point to make me feel like I was a complete princess. He said that I was. ...I still don't believe him.. but it was his feelings.
After our meal, he walked me out onto the patio to overlook downtown. The night was cool, but the heaters on the patio made it pleasant. We looked at the night sky and talked some more of the future and what each of us expected. We had the same ideas of how life should be.. of how we wanted things to go. It was nice to share that with someone.
Then he stopped. He leaned in to kiss me, so gently... then with pain in his eyes; he leaned back to look at me. You see, he was sick. He had been for a while. Just recently he had another bout with it and he was tired. He explained to me, in detail about his sickness...and the future that he was certain to have. I understood. He knew that I did. But, he knew that I still wanted to be right where I was. There. With him. Enjoying life. Enjoying the company of a true gentleman. Enjoying the sprinkles of life.
He explained to me that sprinkles are very important. Those are the things in life that are just added for extra flavor. The things that we don't count on, but when they happen; they are amazing.
We left the restaurant and he took me to the park. We had a nice walk and sat and talked for a while. We covered so much history together in those few hours. ...memories.
As he opened my car door, for me to get ready to leave; he kissed me on the forehead and looked me in the eyes. He smiled that amazing smile and told me to be careful. I thanked him for the amazing night, and got in my car. I wasn't ten minutes away when he called me. I smiled when the phone rang. He wanted to make sure I was alright and just had to know the next time he could see me. So, we made plans.
I experienced many more phone calls.. several more texts and messages from him over the next month and a half. We went to see a movie... had dinner again. We spent some wonderful times together... talked about so much.
....life takes us in so many directions. Sometimes things come from out of nowhere. Things that we never expect. Through it all, he still remained one of my closest friends. He never let me forget..
I never will forget. His life was too short.. The world has lost an amazing man. ...I have been blessed to be a part of his life, even though it was too short. I know that I brought him happiness...just as he did me. He made a difference in my life. He saw what others refused to see...and he was grateful. I will always remember the things he told me... the way he made me feel... the attention to detail he had... the way he thought a woman should be seen and treated.
The world lost a gentleman yesterday. I lost a friend. He meant so much to so many... but this is my story. This is what he meant to me...
Why? It's always good to complete goals that you set out to do. It makes you feel accomplished, no matter how big or small it is.
I love to write. I know that it's not always grammatically correct. I know that sometimes I make no sense..and that some of you wish you could just reach through the screen and shake me. But, I also know that there are some people out there that somewhat enjoy my random, maniacal, rants and thwarted views on life and the things that happen, therein.
I have someones attention. My stat page is proof of that. And, to tell you the truth... I can't express how flattered I am to have people who want to read what I post. I was talking to a friend of mine this past weekend; and I just could not express to her how amazed I am at the number of people who actually read my posts... and continue to do so. It is one of the most amazing feelings ever!
So, I want to say "thank you" to all of my followers. If you read because you enjoy it, or you read because you just can't help it... Thank you. I appreciate every click and every scroll that you give. Thanks for making me a part of your life. I am seriously grateful.
So, I guess you could say; I'm doing this blog challenge for you.
Continental US: New York and Las Vegas. Just to say that I've been. I want to see a play on Broadway and go to ground zero. In Las Vegas?.. Shows. The Strip, and Shows.
Outside of the US: Ireland (it's always been on my list. Hope that I can go one day), Venice (I would love to float down the streets and sit at a sidewalk cafe and drink coffee while people watching), and a genuine vineyard somewhere in France.
I really can't think of anywhere else right now. I used to want to go to Australia, until I got older and realized that there are more things in Australia that can kill you than any other place on Earth! So, Australia is off of the list. No thank you.
Guys, if you were going to do anything romantic for your woman, today was your day to capitalize! Soooo, if you were in the middle of planning something special, and you just needed that extra *umph*... today would have done the job.
It's an event that happens once only every 100 years. There's a very interesting article to read about how today is tied to the Mayan Apocalypse. If you will, take time to read it... that's some interesting stuff.
One of three things will happen to you today:
Welcome to the special day!...Just like every other day, it just has a special name.
It is also Veterans Day. I would like to take this opportunity to say a special word of thanks to all of those who have served, or who are currently serving, our country. You are amazing to me. I have such a high sense of respect and admiration for you. Thank you for being my hero. God Bless.
My bag? Is it horrible that I don't have a bag? I'm not a purse girl. I like to carry the things I need in my pockets. Why? Because IF I was a purse girl, it would have to be a suitcase. I'm one of those who likes unusual things. So, if I had a bag, it would be full of stuff that would win me some money if I ever sat on the game show "Let's Make a Deal."
So, I guess my answer to the question is: Nothing!
How exciting is that!?
So, to make up for my non-exciting blog today, here are some epic bags for you to enjoy!
Hang on.. let me clarify this: I crave love and affection from those who I want it from. I don't want it from a sick-o on the street...
I think I've written a blog on this before, but I have ALWAYS believed; Love is a verb. Love, to me...is not only something that you say.. it's something you do. Doesn't matter in what form you give it...as long as it's an active process. It's not passive. It's not to be there just as a convenience or to be simply understood.
I love to love. It's good stuff. It doesn't matter what I am doing. I am NEVER too busy to love on someone...nothing is more important to me. Now...if I were a heart surgeon, I may feel differently. I can't exactly hug on you if I'm in the middle of surgery. But know that you would get a wink or a smile, or a giggle with a flirty eyebrow arch. See? There's always ways around it.
No excuses. There are no excuses when it comes to loving and giving affection. Not for me. I don't accept it.
I guess it's a good thing that my significant other understands that. :)
Ok.. I am still here. I have had so much going on this past week. You just wouldn't believe it. But, all is well, and life is good.
I will continue my blog challenge tomorrow.. I'll pick up where I left off and hopefully finish this thing before Christmas! :) I just wanted to post to say that I am still here and that I haven't forgotten about you all. I just want to say that I am blessed. You hear me!? BLESSED!
Day 23: What makes you different from everyone else?
Other than my DNA and fingerprints? hmm.. Let's see.
I believe that everyone is capable of having the same qualities that define everyone else. What's the difference between Charles Manson and Billy Graham? Maybe conscience. Maybe a deeply ingrained practice of morals and respect for others. Respect for ones self.
Personally, I see no reason why one person cannot act with the same conviction as the next; but that's not the way it works. Some people require more attention, some enjoy the sickening feel of drama and confrontation. Some feel that the world owes them something. Some even feel that they are born with an innate sense of being better than everyone else. Then, there are those who have a deep compassion for man kind...for animals...for plants. Heck! Some people even have compassion for inanimate objects or non-living things. Don't think so? Let someone back into your brand new Lexus and see if you don't exhibit some pretty detailed emotion!
I could spend all day on this. But, I do have other things on my agenda.. so let's get to the point.
What makes Auntie different from everyone else?
I don't know if it makes me different, but I will give you the low-down on some of Auntie's more pronounced qualities.. and you decide for yourself.
One of my more pronounced qualities is that I'm brutally honest. A lot of times this is a dangerous and self secluding quality. People don't like to hear the truth; therefore I find myself in situations of being on the outside. And let me just say this: people, in general, will tell you that they want honesty. They will tell you to always speak your mind, that they appreciate that. But, in all actuality.. when you do? ... They get offended or get their little feelings hurt. It's a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. And, in this case? You just have to roll with the punches. I think the biggest problem is that most people give their honest opinion, then when they see that they have stepped on toes, they seclude back into a shell of "what people want to hear." If you're gonna be honest?.. You have to be consistent. I'm honest. Sorry if it hurts your feelings. If you stick around long enough, you will see that it pretty much goes both ways with me. I know that the truth hurts.. so I try to make the rest of the time worth it.
Which brings me to my next point. ...
I believe in telling people when they have done good or when they cross your mind. I don't hold back. I get into many difficult situations because of this as well, because not everyone can separate a compliment from "I want to be your best buddy and share everything with you"..or if it's a male "I want to sleep with you." It's the bitter truth. So many people make it hard to just be genuinely friendly these days. They can't take a compliment or a good boost of positive praise for what it's worth. I don't want to be your best bud. I don't want to sleep with you. I just noticed that you did something awesome there, and I want you to know that someone noticed it. I want to tell you that you made my day by smiling at me. I want to tell you that I was in the shower the other day, and you randomly popped in my head. I want you to know that someone is proud of you for standing up for someone else. I want you to know that you make my day better just by being YOU. And, I want you to know how important it is to me that someone is genuine and caring in this day and age. No strings attached. No ulterior motives. I just want you to know that I appreciate what you did. I want you to know that you're on someones mind.
There are so many qualities to me. Not all of them are good. But I do have my moments. The main thing is...I'm me. I will do what I can for you if I know that you will appreciate it. I will tell you what's on my mind. But I also expect you to take the good with the bad. It's the way I am. I have a strong sense of family values and I know that they are the only ones that I should concern myself with. They will be here when everyone else goes home. My family will ALWAYS be there. So, if I hurt your feelings and you can't get over it and move on... if you can't be an adult about certain situations and realize that we are all human and that we all make mistakes; then move on. Everyone wants a circle of friends. Everyone wants to be special to someone for one reason or the other... but the people who are still with me after all these years are the ones who know me and have chosen to accept me for what and who I am. They know to look over certain qualities I have, because at some point, I will redeem myself.
That's me. Auntie in a nutshell. And if you live in a nutshell, then you're probably a.... ????...